I am sitting in my living room...with a LAPTOP...on TOP...of my LAP. Now I see what all the fuss is about. I have never been so comfortable whilst typing. I have yet to take it outside. Not because I'm afraid of damage (though I am) but because I just haven't bothered to go outside recently.
Everything flies on this thing. I can have numerous apps running, a video in the background, and still be able to Skype my parents. This is what computing should be! Hooray. Okay, enough.
In other news, have you ever been in a situation where you wish the earth would swallow you whole so that you could escape your feelings of shame and embarrassment, while your "friends" look on with indifference? I mean, since your junior prom? Ridiculous. I don't think I can post this whole story (even I think I'm blowing it out of proportion, in retrospect), but this would have been a lot more traumatic if it weren't for the fact that this happens regularly. Like, about once a year. With a different set of friends each time, of course.
No, it's no longer a huge disappointment or shock when people I know let me down. You know, I just read what I wrote, and BOY do I sound like a nut. Oh well, who cares. Viva la internet anonymous.
In other news, I need a name for my computer. I like to name my technology. I welcome all my fan to offer suggestions. No, that wasn't a typo, there is only one person who reads this blog. Grumpus, feel free to offer suggestions.
I know all my fan by name! I haven't lost the common touch.
Showing posts with label Sour grapes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sour grapes. Show all posts
Monday, February 2, 2009
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Sour Grapes Line
Has this ever happened to you:
You spot, quite by accident, an ad, or the front page of a newspaper, maybe even a poster somewhere with someone you know (or once knew) in it. They have just won some sort of award or have a principal role in a low-budget film or appear in an ad. You see it somewhere or someone you know mentions it to you and it just comes out of nowhere.
There are all sorts of reactions a person could have to this sort of thing, ranging from pleasure or even pride ("I knew him!") to slight bemusement to indifference, but then you cross a certain line into negativity. I call it the "Sour Grapes Line". This is a bitter line. And sour, I guess.
This is when you suddenly feel bad. Maybe you see this person's success as somehow underscoring your own failure (or perceived failure), maybe it's just a person you didn't like and you wanted to be the one THEY spotted in the entertainment section of the newspaper. Maybe they were mean to you a long time ago and mean people don't deserve success, right? Right? Right? Right? (you tend to ask a lot of people this question. You also tend to get left alone at parties a lot)
I don't handle this sort of thing well. In fact, I handle it badly. It's like suddenly swallowing a ball of lead. My stomach just drops and everything in the world seems like it's 5 feet further away from me. I brood and brood and bad memories just come flooding back, and I try to distract myself but as soon as I stop I remember what it was that put me in such a bad mood in the first place.
This is one of the many things I hate about myself, just so you know. Of course, I'm not proud of all this. I should wish for success for others and lord help me I TRY to be positive (this has been my struggle over the past year), but old habits die hard. I am very unskilled at letting shit go. It hold me back enormously in so many ways I can't even begin to describe.
Someday, maybe once I've known you for five or six years and we both happen to be very very drunk, I'll tell you about it.
You spot, quite by accident, an ad, or the front page of a newspaper, maybe even a poster somewhere with someone you know (or once knew) in it. They have just won some sort of award or have a principal role in a low-budget film or appear in an ad. You see it somewhere or someone you know mentions it to you and it just comes out of nowhere.
There are all sorts of reactions a person could have to this sort of thing, ranging from pleasure or even pride ("I knew him!") to slight bemusement to indifference, but then you cross a certain line into negativity. I call it the "Sour Grapes Line". This is a bitter line. And sour, I guess.
This is when you suddenly feel bad. Maybe you see this person's success as somehow underscoring your own failure (or perceived failure), maybe it's just a person you didn't like and you wanted to be the one THEY spotted in the entertainment section of the newspaper. Maybe they were mean to you a long time ago and mean people don't deserve success, right? Right? Right? Right? (you tend to ask a lot of people this question. You also tend to get left alone at parties a lot)
I don't handle this sort of thing well. In fact, I handle it badly. It's like suddenly swallowing a ball of lead. My stomach just drops and everything in the world seems like it's 5 feet further away from me. I brood and brood and bad memories just come flooding back, and I try to distract myself but as soon as I stop I remember what it was that put me in such a bad mood in the first place.
This is one of the many things I hate about myself, just so you know. Of course, I'm not proud of all this. I should wish for success for others and lord help me I TRY to be positive (this has been my struggle over the past year), but old habits die hard. I am very unskilled at letting shit go. It hold me back enormously in so many ways I can't even begin to describe.
Someday, maybe once I've known you for five or six years and we both happen to be very very drunk, I'll tell you about it.
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